Tying ambition to ‘modern-day homemakers’
No, this isn’t a regular rant about how important homemakers are, how they add value to the home which they live in, how each day would be different without their contribution, or how much we take them for granted. While everything written in the previous statement holds true, the job of a homemaker is often not considered to be fulfilling and they are measured/ judged on the basis of their ambitions.
Having lived the life of a working woman in the past and an acting homemaker for the last few months has made me realize, modern-day homemakers, are much more educated, aware and have added exposure to work-life than what they had 20 years back. But with that also comes the expectation from a modern-day homemaker to be super ambitious.
Apart from being a good homemaker, a woman with any prior experience of being into a full-time job/ business is expected to get back to the workforce as an obvious, to be able to match up to other women who may be doing a job of their choice or running a business they love. The reasons could vary from — all friends being working women, having to run out of topics in work related conversations, higher education seeming worthless, everyone in the family is very ambitious, etc. Or is that a lot of modern-day homemakers take up work due to peer pressure knowing they will miss out being ‘street smart’, will be singled out as a housewife, or will not be taken seriously when introduced in social gatherings.
The expectation is so deeply rooted in our culture that we look up to being a working woman to gain recognition. Hence, we assume that well educated homemakers are highly ambitious women and build an expectation around them which unknowingly translates into peer pressure. Unless work life is a personal choice and gives you happiness apart from being the bread earner of the family, every homemaker can be complete without constantly having to watch out for a job. We should not allow ourselves to be overburdened by external pressures and norms.
‘Would I maintain being a working woman if I wasn’t paid for what I did?’ is an important question to ponder upon. While being ambitious is considered to be a very good thing, ambitions can also be of little achievements other than being a successful entrepreneur. Of course, the idea here is not to discourage women who are ambitious but to put things to perspective for women who have been working to avoid being tagged as a homemaker. The key for each of us is to re-think our ambitions and priorities without creating expectations for people around us.
Many women do want to be homemakers by choice and it is way more than a full-time job. They’re obsessed with recipes, cooking, and beautifying homes with attractive things. There are women who love well-managed homes coz it means a clean, safe, comfortable space filled with things and people/pets they love. A homemaker lovingly makes a house into a home.
As individuals, all of us have different ambitions. Our priorities, passion, or ambitions do not have to be limited to our work life. So, let us stop typecasting modern-day homemakers and making assumptions about what a woman is trying to achieve in being a good homemaker.
(*Mentioning women in the above article assuming 90% homemakers are women)
July 02, 2020
Nidhi
